Uncharacteristically speechless

March 28th, 2008

Haven’t blogged much lately because, believe it or not, I haven’t had much to say. I’m still struggling with the switch in medications and while my newest fibromyalgia meds are alleviating some of my pain, they also leave me exhausted much of the time. It doesn’t leave much time, energy or (to be honest) inclination to blog. Nor does it make for an exciting life filled with inspiration for blogging. You get the picture.

I always hesitate, in fact, to write too much about my fibromyalgia and pain too much. I’m terribly self-conscious about and afraid of boring people. In my house, being sick could be seen as weakness or even a ploy for attention, so I have trouble letting go of all of that. I worry that I’m being overly-dramatic or I question myself about my motives: am I just trying to get attention, etc. In fact, I’ve gotten so good at acting like I’m fine that it would actually surprise most people who know me to learn that I’m in pain all day, every day, at varying levels.

I don’t want to court pity, but it’s difficult to talk — or, in this case, write — about my life without bringing it up. So there you have it. It’s where I am. Right now, it’s making working difficult, making writing difficult and even making the making of things more challenging, so I haven’t been distracting myself as much with sewing or knitting projects. But I’m back in physical therapy, doing yoga, eating well and getting massage therapy occasionally, so I’m doing what I can.

Huh. Yep. Even bored myself with this post. I do know, however, that I have a couple of readers who suffer from fibromyalgia and, at the very least, maybe they’ll get some comfort out of knowing they’re not alone.

Entry Filed under: Just Life