February is a drag

Around this time every year, I swear I can feel the motivation draining out of me. Today's the epitome -- the sky is grey, it's too cold to go outside and walk around. I feel tired down to my bones. According to that one hedgehog, or whatever the hell he is, spring is around the corner. In the meantime, I'm trying to put a positive spin on this, the dullest month. Thus, I present to you a list of other things February is...

American Heart Month. This one's close to my you-know-what, so brush up on your

Library Lovers Month. Click here for tips on how to love your library. It's not dirty or anything.

National Hot Breakfast Month. If you're cooking, I'd like oatmeal or, perhaps, a nice frittata. With goat cheese, of course.

National Bird-Feeding Month. Naturally, feeding birds a nice, hot breakfast is good way to kill two...um...nevermind.

National "Shake Your Booty" Month. I can find no source for this claim other than Wikipedia, so I think we can pretty much deduce that it's not true. However, I think we should MAKE it true and right now, as you read this, just shake your booty. Even a little. Go on. Do it. No one's watching. There! Don't you feel better? I know I do.

International Boost Self Esteem Month. Whoever came up with this idea is a loser.

National African American History Month. If you didn't already know that part, you're not really paying attention.

Marijuana Awareness Month. I like this one 'cause it's home-grown.

National Cherry Pie Month. If any of you are celebrating this holiday, Chris would like to come over for dinner.

National Pet Dental Health Month. Just don't try to apply Crest White Strips to your cat.'s teeth Trust me.

National Time Management Month. Now's a good time to quit being late to stuff. Seriously. It bugs me.

Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month. I have nothing to add.

Please observe accordingly.