I might be back

Assuming it isn't too late, that is. Assuming you haven't abandoned ship given the eons since the last post. An explanation may be in order with a content warning for those who are tired of hearing me belly-aching about health problems. I've spent the past 7 weeks or so undergoing a battery of tests -- from EKGs to blood work, etc. -- to try to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. Why I've been exhausted all the time, with little no energy for anything, including writing (which includes, of course, this blog.) Why my heart's been doing some wonky antics. Why my metabolism seems to have ground to a halt, causing me to gain weight even when doing everything in my power to achieve the opposite effect. And why I have this baffling, first-time painful cystic acne on my chin, which will simply not go away.

What my doc has settled on is polycystic ovarian syndrome, which is a metabolic disorder that can account for all my symptoms. That means I've started new meds which will hopefully help resolve all those symptoms and, at the very least, will regulate my metabolism.

I've only been on the meds a few days so my upswing in mood and energy is likely not attributable to that. Part of it is probably the relief in feeling like I have an answer and a course of treatment. But the other part is a factor in my health that I keep trying to ignore: sugar.

I've blogged about my struggles with sugar in the past. I love it. I have what can only be described as an addictive relationship to it. And it makes me feel like crap. It affects my mood, my concentration, my energy level, my sleeping patterns. But I keep going back to the trough and trying it again.

The truth is that I really don't want to refined sugar to be the answer to my problems. I'm being a bit of a toddler about it, stamping my feet and crossing my arms. But I guess I needed to feel as bad and frustrated as I did the past month or so in order to try to make a change again. And it helps. I don't feel 100% by any means just by cutting out added sugar in my diet, but I feel a lot less despondent, I have some energy -- enough to get back to the gym (albeit to work out very lamely) and to other things like, well, writing and blogging.

So I guess we'll see how long it takes for me to forget about it again. In the meantime, I'm blogging! I'm blogging!